Ok, so Jezebel already covered this over the weekend, but I just had to share a little vitriol. Why? because I worked 20 hours this weekend and I don’t get a day off until Saturday and I’m about to turn 28 and I’m old and cranky, dagnabit!
*achem* Anyway, are you all aware that there is an upcoming Comic-Con in San Diego? Well, there is! Do you have girly parts? Are you afraid of attending said Comic-Con because all there will be are smelly Star Wars nerds and creepy webcomic artists? Never fear! The LA Times has laid out a plan for you!
…we’ve got a pretty good idea of what eager girls can expect (aside from one heck of a line for the “New Moon” session). Other vampires will be in their midst (“True Blood” and CW’s upcoming “Vampire Diaries”) … the muscle behind “G.I. Joe” (Channing Tatum, anyone?), perhaps a return visit from Robert Downey Jr. (hawking “Iron Man 2”) and, if we’re lucky, Brad Pitt himself (for “Inglourious Basterds”).
Because women don’t care about artists or writers or anything like that. Women just want a list of the HOTTIEZ. Because all we’re interested in are abs! Abs abs abs abs and abs! Boys! Abs! That’s what women come to Comic-Cons for, right? Oh, wait, I’m sorry, women don’t attend Comic-Cons willingly, we are dragged there by our boyfriends and husbands who want to see Angelina Jolie! My bad.
Look, LA Times, I see what you were getting at there, I really do. But you’re doing a disservice to those of us with lady parts who willingly attend comic and sci fi and webcomic conventions OF OUR OWN VOLITION. NOT to be one of the “Women … rushing the stage, offering to do star Jake Gyllenhaal’s laundry on those washboard abs that he acquired for [Prince of Persia], since he spends much of it fighting, shirtless or both. Jake, we don’t want to know how to quit you.”
Sorry, I just threw up a little in my mouth. *sigh* Ok, look, I don’t get on my little feminist soapbox a lot, but here’s the deal: WOMEN LIKE COMICS! Women WRITE and DRAW comics. Women LIKE science fiction and fantasy! Women WRITE and DIRECT science fiction and fantasy. AND NOT JUST ABOUT GODDAMN VAMPIRES! I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THE GODDAMN VAMPIRES!
And, possibly most importantly, WOMEN BUY THESE THINGS. We LIKE to spend money on things other than shoes, tampons and little pink drinks. We are valuable consumers for the Comic-Con. So stop treating us like all we want to do is lick Robert Pattison’s shiny vampire glitter skin! WE DON’T!
So, LA Times, do this cranky, exhausted, female science fiction comic book nerd blogger a favor, and kindly STFU.
P.S. R.K. Milholland is not actually creepy. Unless you want him to be.